Lonely

I guess I know how terrible it is when we felt lonely, I used to felt that way during my first year in university. Yea... I'm not a good socialize person indeed. I'm not good at jokes and always the blur one. especially when I'm with someone that I'm not familiar with, I'll be very quiet. That's me. I grown up in a world that is surrounded by boys and I really cannot accept it at first when most of my friends is girls including my coursemate (only 3 boys). It doesn't mean that I don't like to be with girls and I don't have any girls friends. It just that I couldn't really believe in girls when I share my personal thingy. Yea... I've been threatened by plenty of my girls friends and I just couldn't believe in girls promise for keeping secrets. Some girls even spread the nonsense gossip about me during my secondary school and I don't even know what's the reason. Girls hurt me a lot during my teenage life that's why I'm always more comfortable with boys. Even my house is full of boys!!! XD My first year is the toughest time thoughout my campus life, especially when it comes to facing the sadness of my broken relationship. I cried for 3 months for that... secretly of coz. Hehe... But then really comforts me is when my previous cg leaders came and approached me that time. Anyhow, I still have to face and overcome it on my own. That's the only reason I refuse to fly back home during my semester break actly. I knew I need time to adjust myself back to normal, and by doing it with an easier way is to distance myself from places that is full of his and mine memories. Yea... I was very lonely that time, and I keep reminding myself that no matter what I have to move on, I have to forget. Somehow, I manage to burried that sadness in the deepest part of my heart and forget about it after some time. Well, it's still hurt sometime when I think of it but life is like this. It's part of me, part of my memories and part of what's God has planned. Althou, it has been the most lonely time of my life that no one could have help and physically accompanied me (Why?? Because there's a secret behind it..), anyhow it teaches and complete me I guess.