Assignment Submission- Spoiled my night.

Submitted my assignment and thought that I could finally sleep well tonite!! But, but, but, the percentage of plagiarism hit me!! Darn~! another nite with insomnia.  Never had serious insomnia in Malaysia before, but always had it here. It somehow makes me regret to move here as good sleep is always on top of my daily list. XD

Homesick?!? Country-sick? A little... I admit...

I'm not really a person that has homesick experience since I left home for studies.  Only once, during end of my 1st year in Uni, i did.  But somehow, I won't blame it as it was my own decision to stay during that 2-months long holidays, as I was preparing myself to overcome some situation.  Life at England is different, I can't really find anyway to get back to my comfort zone.  Well, I knew this from start and that's actually part of my reason to choose here! (Just to be brave for once in my life!)  and when I decided to say YES to sunderland, I never though I'll miss Malaysia so much! and how good is Malaysia! especially the foods!! and yes... i miss travelling around with own transports. I miss driving around the town! Everytime I saw youngster driving around, I'm so so jealous and I miss it! especially driving together with frens and brian!

Meeting new frens and ppl aren't as easy as I think, mostly because our culture aren't the same, so our thinking are not as well.  Some of the words or thing, they couldn't accept and often... very often lead to misunderstanding that causes lot of explanation to be made.  So everytime I talked, I'll end up explaining my points, unless when I'm talking to Malaysian. Sometime, u'll be amazed how Malaysian could understand each other without saying in details! =D  oh well, it's a good training in communication as well, yet, somehow makes u feeling homesick that u can't shared it with ur loved ones.

I miss my sista! all those close sista! in miri, in bintangor, in kuching, in johor, all of them! Well, I dun reli have close girls at here at the moments.  Feels weird of myself sometime, I'm close with boys here and I feel like surrounded by brothers at home. Maybe I miss my brothers too much till that way! Well, they're lovely and caring as well, especially when they walked me back home, I feel touched and appreciate it so much!  Seeing the boys talking to each other also sometime makes me feel missing my brothers, those moments that 4 of us could sit down and chit-chat anything!  Those funny and crazy thoughts... those intimate feeling of siblings... and those noisy that we make during cny, even till now still make dad and mum feel annoying...

Gosh!! I miss everything in Malaysia as I write this.  I miss my Johor's housemate! They're like part of my life already! Especially whenever aiden msn or skype me, when ah bui facetime with me, when christopher skype me, when flo facebooking me!! All of them! all of this, I couldn't explained more if I am not at my position right now.  Yeah... when u're out of ur comfort zone, u'll see the whole picture of how much does the loved one should be appreciate, how much you miss them and how tiny are you in control of your life.... I admit... I'm slightly homesick or maybe lots and lots of homesick currently.

Something to Motivate Myself...

Exam Week

Most of you just finished your paper or maybe still got 1 paper to go~ but I just started mine~ ^^

Touched 2

Second vision came to me as Pastor was calling and praying for Holy Spirit to filled our mind and soul. At first, I didn't felt anything and I thought I won't felt anything tonite. But it came, just before the Pastor asked someone to share their vision.

I saw myself and my hand are being hold by a man, whom I cannot see his face. I was lead into a triangle shape of silver steel and the triangle shape is turning around me, it feels like being lock inside with fears in me. Then, the man, again, he hold my hand and bring me of out it, where I feel relieve after that. But then, he told me, you have to replace and put a blue and white light on it, then we move on.

I couldn't interpret it clearly. But I knew it is something God wants to speak to me.

Touched

It's Good Friday! As usual, we went for church services on this day. But the amazing part of this Good Friday is I can feel that God is trying to speak to me. I admit that, it's been a really long while ever since everyone that prayed for me, keep telling me that God wants to speak to me. I listened to them but somehow the message didn't got into me. Maybe I was afraid. Afraid of all the circumstances I have to face if I silence myself down. Or maybe God knew and waiting for the right time.

I heard a voice and had a vision that. God is telling me to open up myself. There is a vision of me hugged by a man and I lay my head upon his shoulder. A very quick and clear vision, and a very clear voice telling myself to forgive my own. The voice continue saying, "I've come and paid it all for you, my dear. Why can't you just forgive yourself, Rona. and stop." I asked back, "teach me, how to open up my heart." But the voice, " open up your heart, and forgive yourself." keep on repeating, as well as the vision came for the second time.

It just ended up that way, I didn't told anyone about it as I'm not sure who to turn to. But, in that few minutes, I felt really comforted.

I label this as Toughest part of my life as well because the thing that has been keeping and pulling me for all this while is the most tough happening in my life till I could hardly let it go and forgive myself.

Step 1

"Time flies that sometime we din even have the chance to look at it carefully. I've made my life's decision today~ this time there's no more turning back and so on~ either you strike or you fall, Rona. It's all starting from today. "

I named it as step 1 because this is the day I paid for my tuition fee. I am touched, so touched until I can't barely describe the word, how much did my parents done for me.  How could I repay all back? Daddy hair turned to white, mummy looks older than when I first flied to Labuan for my matriculation. It was just 6years ago but things changed so much that I couldn't even get a chance to look at it one by one. I told myself that I should remember this day, this feeling, how I felt for them, recorded it, that I may always remember this wherever I stepped for the rest of my life.  I shouldn't forget this feeling and strive on behalf of them because they deserve it so much more than I should.