Sunday 20th Sept

I realize I often flash back to all the first time we've been together these few days. Maybe I miss him, I miss those days too much or maybe I'm fighting with my inner-self and felt like I need someone to be beside me, just to make myself feel better?? This semester is totally unpredictable, I felt like everything is a mess neither physically, mentally nor spiritually. I felt like I don't really know what am I doing sometimes. Often, I need to cheer up myself to let my working mood turned on. Sometime I do worry about myself, am I going to grade or not??
I felt sorry for my cg, coz I'm not that available not that active as the semester before. I found it hard for me to find a time that I could just totally focusing for them. But then, my mind set the intention, set the image of it but my heart felt guilty and sorry for them that I'm always full of worries about my studies and often neglected them. I asked God to help me each day, in leading and guiding this cg and I believe He is finding a way for me or maybe He did prepared a way but then it's not the right time to show?? I have no idea...